Be Bad*** || Don't Be Defined By The Check Boxes -- Own Who You Are

"It's not easy being green" said Kermit.

And it's not easy being our true selves, either. In this world it's about a three sentence description to sum up who you are, but how is that even possible when we are so much more?

I'm inviting us all to embrace the roundness that is our lives and to stop forcing them into these tiny boxes that are anything but our truth -- introvert vs extrovert, tall vs short, large vs petite, young vs old, shy vs exuberant, blond vs brunette, thin vs overweight -- what is this a yes or no game? The answer is never as simple as the world wants. So, I suggest picking up a pen and grabbing a piece of paper or turning on that recorder, and try expressing yourself in every possible way you can. I've written all about myself below ;-). Recognize that it's a never ending list, because you are always changing, evolving, growing, and becoming more and more you every day.

Come back to the list when someone calls you a mean name or when you're feeling defeated or even when you just want a reminder that you are more than your title, your job, your marital status, your race, your gender, your size -- you are so so so much more. Enjoy what you discover, loves xx

So who am I ....

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I'm a mystery. A believer in the unseen. A hopeless romantic. A stay-up-too-late-because-of-cute-boys kind of girl. I'm a flowy dress in the wind, torn denim under the moonlight, barefooted everywhere and anywhere kind of woman. I'm a dreamer of the future, of lost past, of ideas. I'm a person of gratitude, strength, courage, and of freedom. I like my potatoes to come with an extra helping of potatoes and a bottomless bowl of ice cream for no other reason than I can. I'm a stop-the-fear kind of activist and a crushingly empathetic ear to humans and animals alike. I get overwhelmed easily and often, because I put myself in situations that are daring albeit sometimes too much. I lay out best intentions, but sometimes the path changes mid stride and I'm on an empty coloring page.

I write weird words together and sometimes in all lowercase because it inspires me to be authentic and honest and real. I don't practice yoga everyday, despite the tags on all my pictures, but then again maybe I do, because conscientious breathing is yoga. Ha! #yogaeverydamnday -- yes. I want to have a pig, maybe some chickens, a goat, definitely huge dogs (yes, multiple), and I somehow want them all to fit in an awesome studio apartment -- I could have a rooftop barn, right? I like to watch Netflix like it's my job, which it should be, but I'm a sucker for a romance novel and a bowl of popcorn. I like weird pairings and things that shouldn't taste good, taste good to me, like chlorella tablets, raw cacao unsweetened, Trader Joe's tofu, and cheap champagne.

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I like imagining the good in people first and seeing the unexpected later. I like to have high expectations, but sometimes I convince myself they aren't there so I can enjoy life. I want to go to all the festivals in the world, but I'm a little scared of not showering or drinking enough water. Some days I feel like the oldest soul alive. On days that I can't think straight, I often give up, but those same days I usually have the greatest breakthroughs. Somehow life is working out for me, so I'm done questioning it and finally accepting the journey.

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Sometimes I think to myself, how is this my life -- in equal parts excitement and oh-dear-lord. I could watch puppy tails wag for hours and curl up with my not-a-lap-dog baby for days. I'm still looking for the best bread out there and am just now realizing life isn't about all or nothing. Ask me my favorite song and I'll have to get back to you never. Give me anything gluten-free and vegan and I'll love you for life. Make my heart beat faster just because you smile and I'll love you as long as time.

Life isn't the characterization of a person into one group or another, large or petite, hard worker or lazy, romantic or cold. It's messy and complicated and undefined and feeling good and enjoying the time. I'm pretty content to be this crazy, chaotic, dreamer of a girl who hopes for things that never happen but loves to imagine the infinite possibilities. I'm okay with being no one's idea of normal, because who's normal? You can't capture the essence of a person with a photo and a quick description -- it's how the energy changes when you're with them, how they make you feel -- about yourself and about others, how they inspire only the best change and encourage the transformation, and most of all how they are never constant, always changing, like the sun and the moon and the stars. So let the judgement go, the ideas that hold you back, stay open and wild, but most of all, just be yourself first, and the rest will follow.

+ what is it like to realize you are so much more than a three sentence summation? how will you embrace your authentic self? comment here, facebook, or twitter ;)

Want to feel like a million bucks with high energy, self-love, and freedom from fad-diets? Let’s work together.

Gratitude: A Reminder

I'm feeling frustrated and anxious and down right gross. Bleh. But I must remember that my exasperation at the obstacles in my day and month are not permanent. I create my own reality to be filled with love and tears of happiness and radiant good vibes -- even when I eat things I know will make me feel sick or become lax in schedules and fall behind. Everything will work out; this too shall pass.

GRATITUDE ||

I am grateful for the sun, the moon, and the stars.

I am grateful for connections, both with my kuhla and with others.

I am grateful for friends and laughter.

I am grateful for naps that go far too long, but give me energy to last later through the day.

I am grateful for myself, even though I am having that kind of a day.

I am grateful for understanding, unwavering, loving love that radiates towards me when I am willing to accept its presence.

What do you do to make yourself feel better on the blah days?

xxoo

Do What You Love and Love What You Do ~ 2.26.14

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I wanted to talk today about making time for things that mean a lot to you. You know what I'm talking about. That cup of coffee or tea in the afternoon that perks you up for the rest of the day; the yoga class in the evening that energizes and works out your mind, body, and soul; the bowl of ice cream regardless of celebration or reason. All of these things simply because. It seems that we classify the items and events in our lives that bring us the most joy by calling them ‘guilty pleasures’. We take the most liberating times of our lives—yes ice cream can be liberating—and we shame ourselves or we justify our actions to others. With each individual comes different beliefs, stress-relievers, and times of reflection.

The truth is we need to feel free to want what makes us happy.

There is nothing wrong with leaving a dinner early to snuggle in bed and read a book. Or canceling plans to put your fears and successes on the yoga mat. Or eating ice cream for dinner and chocolate for dessert (only sometimes, guys). There is nothing wrong with simply being yourself. Even above, I felt the need to justify that I only change my diet sometimes. When really, I do it when I want, because this life is mine. It isn’t yours. And as much as I love those that are around me and those that I love and cherish, it is exhausting to remember why you want to do the things you do.

I like to be by myself. I like to explore, travel, hibernate, and live by myself. Others do not like to be alone. I like companionable silence and enjoyable cohabitation. I don’t like interruptions and frustrations that I can’t solve right away.

I like to bake large quantities of several types of food at the same time and give them away to those I love. Just because.

I like to do a lot of things just because it feels right in my mind, my heart, and my soul. Sometimes, it isn’t the best option for my body or my weight, but I don’t want to justify my life anymore with such a narrow focus. This sort of justification is not only in regards to other people. It is also to myself. When my heart is happy, my mind likes to reverse its happiness; whatever has just made me happy prior is now a cause of my own unhappiness, and I find myself blaming or judging my actions based on the season or the event or [insert reason here].

I’m on this journey of life to discover how my heart and my mind can be united without need for justification or reason. I want these parts of myself to coexist, be together beside one another in harmony without burden or loathing; I want the inner tug-of-war to cease and my soul to flourish.

I just want to be Me.

In the great words of Dr. Seuss,

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”

What makes you happy? What makes your heart, soul, mind, and body come together as one?

xxoo

[image of Mary Oliver quote]