"It's not easy being green" said Kermit.
And it's not easy being our true selves, either. In this world it's about a three sentence description to sum up who you are, but how is that even possible when we are so much more?
I'm inviting us all to embrace the roundness that is our lives and to stop forcing them into these tiny boxes that are anything but our truth -- introvert vs extrovert, tall vs short, large vs petite, young vs old, shy vs exuberant, blond vs brunette, thin vs overweight -- what is this a yes or no game? The answer is never as simple as the world wants. So, I suggest picking up a pen and grabbing a piece of paper or turning on that recorder, and try expressing yourself in every possible way you can. I've written all about myself below ;-). Recognize that it's a never ending list, because you are always changing, evolving, growing, and becoming more and more you every day.
Come back to the list when someone calls you a mean name or when you're feeling defeated or even when you just want a reminder that you are more than your title, your job, your marital status, your race, your gender, your size -- you are so so so much more. Enjoy what you discover, loves xx
So who am I ....
I'm a mystery. A believer in the unseen. A hopeless romantic. A stay-up-too-late-because-of-cute-boys kind of girl. I'm a flowy dress in the wind, torn denim under the moonlight, barefooted everywhere and anywhere kind of woman. I'm a dreamer of the future, of lost past, of ideas. I'm a person of gratitude, strength, courage, and of freedom. I like my potatoes to come with an extra helping of potatoes and a bottomless bowl of ice cream for no other reason than I can. I'm a stop-the-fear kind of activist and a crushingly empathetic ear to humans and animals alike. I get overwhelmed easily and often, because I put myself in situations that are daring albeit sometimes too much. I lay out best intentions, but sometimes the path changes mid stride and I'm on an empty coloring page.
I write weird words together and sometimes in all lowercase because it inspires me to be authentic and honest and real. I don't practice yoga everyday, despite the tags on all my pictures, but then again maybe I do, because conscientious breathing is yoga. Ha! #yogaeverydamnday -- yes. I want to have a pig, maybe some chickens, a goat, definitely huge dogs (yes, multiple), and I somehow want them all to fit in an awesome studio apartment -- I could have a rooftop barn, right? I like to watch Netflix like it's my job, which it should be, but I'm a sucker for a romance novel and a bowl of popcorn. I like weird pairings and things that shouldn't taste good, taste good to me, like chlorella tablets, raw cacao unsweetened, Trader Joe's tofu, and cheap champagne.
I like imagining the good in people first and seeing the unexpected later. I like to have high expectations, but sometimes I convince myself they aren't there so I can enjoy life. I want to go to all the festivals in the world, but I'm a little scared of not showering or drinking enough water. Some days I feel like the oldest soul alive. On days that I can't think straight, I often give up, but those same days I usually have the greatest breakthroughs. Somehow life is working out for me, so I'm done questioning it and finally accepting the journey.
Sometimes I think to myself, how is this my life -- in equal parts excitement and oh-dear-lord. I could watch puppy tails wag for hours and curl up with my not-a-lap-dog baby for days. I'm still looking for the best bread out there and am just now realizing life isn't about all or nothing. Ask me my favorite song and I'll have to get back to you never. Give me anything gluten-free and vegan and I'll love you for life. Make my heart beat faster just because you smile and I'll love you as long as time.
Life isn't the characterization of a person into one group or another, large or petite, hard worker or lazy, romantic or cold. It's messy and complicated and undefined and feeling good and enjoying the time. I'm pretty content to be this crazy, chaotic, dreamer of a girl who hopes for things that never happen but loves to imagine the infinite possibilities. I'm okay with being no one's idea of normal, because who's normal? You can't capture the essence of a person with a photo and a quick description -- it's how the energy changes when you're with them, how they make you feel -- about yourself and about others, how they inspire only the best change and encourage the transformation, and most of all how they are never constant, always changing, like the sun and the moon and the stars. So let the judgement go, the ideas that hold you back, stay open and wild, but most of all, just be yourself first, and the rest will follow.
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