Authority and the Lack of Mom Hugs


There are times when many things feel out of control, and there are times when life throws a jumble of problems all at once and says, you go fix them NOW. What is up with this? I’m nineteen. There are problems in my life that should not exist while I’m in my supposed “college bubble”. I understand that it simulates the real world, but if this is the real world, I want no part of it. Unfortunately, I know that my problems are in a bubble and the issues I experience are about one millionth of the trials that I will face as an out-of-college adult. I’ll take the Netflix account I’m borrowing and my covers please. Oh, and can I get a hug from Mom, please? Who decided that freshmen must handle every inconvenience, self-troubling frustration, and issue all by themselves? Counseling centers help, but not with immediate issues; they handle the underlying emotion of why the situation upsets you. Parents are far enough away not to have enough say in administration, yet the administration acts as if we are too young to truly know anything for ourselves. Why can’t they make up their minds? Are we old enough to decide who we are, or are we going to constantly be forced to live the expected standards of our age until someone says, okay, now you may do as you wish. If I can vote, if I can choose what outfit I put on, food to feed my body, exercise regime, classes to take, jobs to apply to, so on and so forth, then shouldn’t I know the intricacies of my lifestyle inside and out and be able to make those decisions?

Does anyone else feel this way? That the administration of their school or their job decides the fates of certain aspects of life, yet initially imply that you have all of the control? When is it enough? When can I stand up and say No. I won’t have it anymore.

The true issue is that all of the rebelling, fighting back, and pressuring others is just plain exhausting. Two yoga practices, peanut butter, and half a container of chocolate, and I still feel like breathing is impossible, and my life is out of my hands. I cannot take the stress or the frustration anymore. When am I heard, respected, and appreciated as an individual and not just as a college undergrad, nineteen-year-old student. When do I get to just be myself and have that be okay with others?