Being alone has its challenges, sure. Like ordering take out and trying to explain that the three orders of egg rolls and two dishes of pad thai are just for one. Not two. Or eating a gallon of ice cream and having to explain that me, myself, and I were just too into it to stop. Or climbing up to the top of a mountain only to realize you have to take selfies to prove you were there. All of these things and more can get in the way when you’re single. But – oh and it’s a big but. There is nothing like having the freedom to do nothing, be nowhere, eat whatever, do anything, anything, simply because it’s just you and your pajamas, a bag of chocolate, and Netflix (or the mountain if you’re outdoorsy and such). For me, life is an open floor plan and no one else builds up the walls, picks out the furnishings, or plans the final details but single ol' mua. The only thing standing in my way is self-preservation and an ego.
I can hear the nay-sayers now – but haven’t you been wishing for love in every post you’ve written thus far?
To which I reply – Yes! But never, never, NEVER on Valentine’s Day.
And here’s why ---
- There shall be freedom from makeup and constricting clothes.Perhaps a touch of makeup, be it mascara or a hint of blush or a smidge of foundation, makes you feel like a goldmine. By all means, wear it. I will be baring my face (maybe a touch of mascara because long eyelashes are my thing). I love a good eyeliner and a hint of blush too – so maybe I’ll add that. You know what? I don’t know. I’ll wait for the moment to take hold of me. What won’t be present on my single night in on V-Day? Constricting clothes. No zippers to get caught on my skin, no pants that chafe my legs, no dresses that make my legs so cold that hair grows in a flash. I’ll be lying back in pink yoga pants, maybe a heart covered sweater, and ringing in the new year of singlehood (I dub V-Day relationship new year).
- There shall be no money spending – unless it’s on myself. Ah money. It turns some hearts green, some cheeks tear stained, some minds twisted. The best part about having been single the last 20 something years of my life? Not having to spend a cent on another person on V-Day. Not that I’m cheap. I love giving homemade valentine’s and sending special messages of love and chocolate, peanut butter granola in repurposed coffee cans. But! There hasn’t been pressure to find the perfect gift for the perfect someone on the perfect, romantic day. Yuck. (everyone, please remind me of this when I have happily found someone and am rushing for the perfect gift. chocolate granola always wins.) Instead, I’ll spend no money or just enough money on myself to keep it interesting – maybe a new sweater for cuddling? Or a bag of chocolate for snacking. Let’s be realistic. We all know which one I’ll choose. No matter what, freedom of where my money goes is singlehood paradise.
- Thou shall have all control over television watching devices.I need not say much about this gloriousness. There will be none of the standard, well what do you want to watch? A little Vampire Diaries, a little Friends, a little Jane the Virgin, Bones, etc.etc.etc. What? I love television.
- Thou shall have time to read if that is what thou wants.Books are my paradise. Bending back the cover and reading the first lines of a story is magnificence and a dreamy reality all in one. I might pop open a new nutrition book, read Bet Me for the fifty thousandth time, get inspired with my yoga guide or reconnect with the Radiance Sutras. No matter what, it’ll be lovely to have the time to sit and enjoy the silence that is my own company.
- Thou shall live on the wild schedule that is no plans. Because I won’t have to go anywhere, see anyone, or do anything in particular, I have the whole day to myself. There will be no studying or required effort. I am letting the day go by, taking what is enjoyable for me, napping when my eyes want to close, eating when my belly is hungry, and laughing at silly things that happen because I can.
- And above all else, thou shall be thyself.This goes for all of my single loves out there and even those coupled and ready to have a romantic evening together this Saturday. Be yourself. Wear pajamas and eat chocolate and sing into your hairbrush while listening to scandalous music. Drink wine and binge on Netflix and get yummy heart shaped cookies to decorate. Laugh boldly, flirt shamelessly, breathe deeply, love willingly and openly. Be not afraid of the unknown or unplanned. Find excitement in the adventure and the love of it all. Just let yourself be calm and present and accepting and compassionate and wondrous and excited. It will show – it will make your eyes sparkle and gleam and glow vibrant in the candlelight of romance. Be sultry and exuberant. Find what makes you feel like a million bucks. Let go of expectation and ego and idea and sink into the magic of letting your body guide you down the path of exploration.
I’m not afraid to be alone on Valentine’s Day. I once was, but now it’s a comfort and a consistency that I’m not afraid to have in my life. I have a longstanding date with chocolate, a good movie or show, and myself. And this year, just like every year before and every year after, it’s gonna be a marvelous night.
What are your plans this Valentine's Day? Single or coupled? Comment below ;-)
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